


Poison & Wine

by augustrain3



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8899987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/augustrain3/pseuds/augustrain3
Summary: "I hope that someday you and I can be friends..."  Friends...Easier said than done. It didn't take Maggie long to realize that.---My slow-burn version of events between Alex and Maggie following 2x07, from Maggie's point of view.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to write 2 separate Sanvers stories at the same time, but will try to keep both updated.

_I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back_  
_The less I give, the more I get back_  
_Oh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise  
_ _I don't have a choice, but I'd still choose you_

_Oh, I don't love you, but I always will..._

\-- "Poison & Wine" - The Civil Wars 

\--- 

  
_"I hope that someday you and I can be friends..."_

___Friends..._ _ _

___Easier said than done. It didn't take Maggie long to realize that._ _ _

The first few weeks after that night were far from smooth. Maggie realized all too quickly how ignorant she had been to think that Alex would be back to herself around her. Back to the Alex that was a little snarky and occasionally over-eager and who _smiled_. Nothing could have been further from the truth. 

Instead of their regular banter, mixed in were snide remarks and passive aggression. Maggie took it smiling, even though the words went straight to her heart like daggers. This was on her. She had wanted to still be friends, she had pushed it, she had been the one unwilling to even give Alex space. She had hurt Alex, so she should be able to take getting hurt a bit back. Somehow that reminder didn't always make her feel better, didn't soothe the ache she felt to hear those callous words come from Alex's mouth. 

This night was no different. 

The whole gang is here, the one Alex has let her into, gathered around a pool table. As much as Maggie wishes it was a step forward, it feels more like a way to keep her at arms length, create a buffer for them having to be alone in the same room and not talk about all that transpired. Maggie gets it, she accepts it, whatever makes this easier for Alex, but at the same time, Maggie hates that it gives an audience to witness what happens after Alex has had a few too many fingers of whiskey. 

___Maggie doesn't know how many drinks Alex has had, but her eyes are getting glassy and her pool shots a little unsteady._ _ _

___"Is it just me or is that waitress giving us attitude?" Winn wonders, after having tried to flag Darla down for the last 20 minutes._ _ _

___"It's probably cause her heart's sitting in Sawyer's trophy case," Alex remarkes snidely from across the pool table. "You must have quite the collection by now," she adds as she leans down and sinks the 8 ball, still winning easily despite her intoxication._ _ _

___Maggie takes a deep breath, biting her tongue. "Well played, Danvers."_ _ _

___"Come on, Sawyer," Alex quips. "We all know who the real player is."_ _ _

___Maggie feels like her face is on fire. She knows everyone is looking from Alex to her and back, analyzing the tension and waiting for a reaction. All but Kara, who Maggie is surprised to find is flashing her a look of what is surely sympathy._ _ _

___"Well! Next round is on me," Winn announces awkwardly. "...mainly because I want to excuse myself from this extremely uncomfortable... friendly banter. What's everyone having? Shots? Shots? I think we need shots."_ _ _

___Alex doesn't even look up to regard Maggie, simply moves to re-rack the balls for another game, like nothing is at all the matter._ _ _

___"How 'bout some cheap ones?" Maggie tells Winn. "Seems to be what's going around tonight."_ _ _

___Maggie ignores the look that passes between Winn and James. It's not her job to explain._ _ _

___"Great!" Winn exclaims overeagerly. "Shots it is."_ _ _

___"I'll come with you," James adds, before the two head for the bar._ _ _

___"Who's my next victim?" Alex asks, finally looking up. Maggie, Kara, and Mike exchange glances, and Maggie sees Kara finally nudge Mike in the arm._ _ _

___"Guess I'm up!" Mike answers, and Maggie feels relieved._ _ _

___A moment later, Winn and James return with shots in hand, each carrying 3, and offer them up to the others._ _ _

___Maggie takes one immediately from Winn's hand, as Winn tries to offer her a lime, and throws it back before he can get his words out._ _ _

___Winn looks impressed. "Oh, okay, well then. Anyone else?"_ _ _

___Alex strides over and reaches out for one just as Kara interjects._ _ _

___"I think Alex is good," Kara says, giving Winn a look._ _ _

___"Right, these two are both for me." Winn puts one shot glass to his lips and chokes it down._ _ _

___"Oh, come on, lay up," Alex replies, taking the other shot glass from Winn and throwing it back before anyone can stop her. "I don't need a chaperone, guys."_ _ _

___\---_ _ _

___She's wrong about that. An hour later, Alex is slurring her words and stumbling. The boys have said their awkward goodbyes, and it's just Maggie and Kara standing just outside the bar with a very inebriated Alex Danvers._ _ _

___"It's ok, I've got her," Kara insists to Maggie, but Maggie just doesn't feel good taking off with Alex in this state. Maggie's surely the one to blame for all of this, and it hurts to see Alex doing this to herself._ _ _

___Maggie had assumed what Alex felt was just a simple crush, that Alex would have fallen for the first lesbian she encountered, but it became clear that day in the parking garage that it maybe wasn't so fleeting. These last few weeks had confirmed that._ _ _

___"Why don't I drive you guys? I have the squad car tonight."_ _ _

___"Really, we'll be okay." Kara has her arm around Alex's back and she's handling her better than Maggie would have expected. Still, Maggie knows their only ride is Alex's bike, which even if Kara does know how to handle a Ducati, it's less than ideal with a drunk passenger._ _ _

___Maggie pleads with her eyes to Kara to let her help, and finally, Kara relents. Kara leads Alex towards Maggie's car and opens up the backseat. Alex suddenly looks more aware._ _ _

___"Did you guys call the cops on me?" Alex asks with a frown, her brow furrowed._ _ _

___Kara plops Alex down in the backseat and crawls into the passenger seat up front. Maggie comes around the front and gets into the driver side._ _ _

___\---_ _ _

___It's been nearly ten minutes of impenetrable silence. Maggie doesn't have a clue what to say to Kara, who up until tonight had always looked at Maggie like she'd eviscerate her if she could, like her presence at these get togethers was merely tolerated._ _ _

___Maggie glances in her rear view mirror and sees Alex slumped against the car door, eyes closed, asleep. She looks peaceful. There's a piece of auburn hair that's fallen in front of her face. Maggie feels the urge well up to brush it out of Alex's face, and she's glad that she is too far away to do something so imprudent._ _ _

___"Alex tells me you're from Nebraska." Kara's voice breaks the silence and it startles Maggie out of her thoughts._ _ _

___Maggie fidgets awkwardly, suddenly aware that the silence wasn't all that bad. Nebraska. That's clearly not the only thing Alex has told Kara if the conversation got all the way to Nebraska. Maggie cringes wondering if Kara knows all the details, all the things that were said, all that had occurred between them. Maggie feels disappointed that things between her and Alex aren't so sacrosanct anymore. It isn't just theirs now._ _ _

___"She tells you a lot, doesn't she?" Maggie replies._ _ _

___"We're sisters," Kara offers up like an apology._ _ _

___Maggie nods. She doesn't know what that's like. Her little brother is five years younger, and he was still a bratty kid when she left Blue Springs. She doesn't go back often, but every time she does, she learns he's gotten himself into more and more trouble. Maggie's glad she's not a cop back there because she's sure she would have had to slap handcuffs on her little brother more than once by now._ _ _

___"Nebraska's nice. All those grassy plains," Kara continues._ _ _

___Maggie looks up, surprised. "You've been?"_ _ _

___"Just...flown over."_ _ _

___"Yeah, not much there. It's good people though. Solid, hard-working, good people," Maggie explains. "Just wasn't always easy for someone who's...different," she adds with a tinge of sadness. "People treated me like I was from another planet."_ _ _

___"I know the feeling," Kara sympathizes._ _ _

___Maggie's brow furrows, confused. Kara seems like the last person to not fit in somewhere. She looks just like the girl next door, and it's pretty clear every friend of hers wishes they were more than that._ _ _

___"I just...being adopted, you know," Kara tries to explain. "Alex didn't tell you?"_ _ _

___"She did. I just assumed it was when you were a baby."_ _ _

___"Nope. I was 12."_ _ _

___"Oh," Maggie whispers somberly, and she realizes maybe her assumptions about the younger Danvers were miscalculated._ _ _

___"My mom and dad, they died...So there I was, awkward pre-teen in a new place in a new house in a new bed, going to a new school with new kids, having a new sister, who all looked at me like I was some sort of..._ _ _

___"Alien," Maggie finished for her._ _ _

___Kara nods. "So I get it."_ _ _

___Maggie's eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"_ _ _

___"It's not always easy for those of us who always felt like outsiders to put ourselves out there. To take chances. I know I run the other way."_ _ _

Maggie realizes Kara is talking about Alex now, that she just perfectly segued into this, and Maggie realizes she's probably been underestimating this Danvers too, like she once did with Alex. They might not be blood but they clearly both inherited the same brash forwardness of speaking their mind. _Lesson learned again,_ she thinks. 

___Maggie glances over at Kara who is looking at her expectantly. "That's not it," she insists._ _ _

___"Okay." Kara nods, even though Maggie can tell she's not buying it._ _ _

___"It's the next one on the right," Kara says, pointing ahead to Alex's apartment building._ _ _

___Maggie pulls the car over to the side of the road just in front of the entrance and parks. Kara gets out and moves to the backseat to start extricating Alex. Maggie comes around the back, reaching out to give Kara a hand._ _ _

___"Here, let me help you."_ _ _

___Alex stirs as they pull her to her feet. Her eyes are still glazed over, and Maggie can see her trying to figure out where they are now. Alex takes a step and her ankle gives, and Maggie and Kara both reach for her._ _ _

___Maggie finds her arms around Alex, Alex's body leaning into hers. Maggie can feel the warmth coming from her, her fingers catching a graze of the bare skin at the small of her back where her shirt has ridden up. It's the closest they've been by a long shot since that night in the bar. Maggie wishes her body wouldn't react the way it does, but she can feel the closeness send a current through her. Alex looks up at Maggie, her brown eyes a little bloodshot, her cheeks flushed, her lips..._ _ _

___"Thought I wasn't your type," Alex interrupts, pushing Maggie off her before stumbling forward, Kara catching her._ _ _

___Maggie lets out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding and reaches her hand up to push the hair from her face. She feels her stomach knot up._ _ _

___"I'd say that's my cue," Maggie announces sadly._ _ _

___Kara's gaze finds Maggie and she mouths, _"I'm sorry."__ _ _

___Alex pushes off Kara's help now, and Kara lets her continue on her own towards the front door._ _ _

___"Don't be." Maggie replies. "I think I earned this."_ _ _

___Kara frowns. "Whatever it is, Maggie...," she starts. "Alex, she has a big heart."_ _ _

___Maggie nods. It's what she loves about Alex. It's why this hurts so much. Why it kills her to see her like this. "I know."_ _ _

___"I don't want it to get broken any more than it has," Kara says firmly._ _ _

___Maggie looks away and fights off the tears welling up in her eyes. She clenches her jaw to keep them away. Finally, she turns back to Kara._ _ _

___"I'm glad she has you."_ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

Maggie wakes late the next morning, but she doesn't feel rested. She spent the night tossing and turning, waking up, thinking of Alex. Around 3am was when she was most grateful for having dropped her cell on her kitchen counter before heading to bed. It prevents her from messaging Alex when the urge hits, from checking in. She wants to call her and hear her voice and know she's okay. 

Maggie knows it's not her place. She doesn't really know what she and Alex are now. Friends? Not quite. But far more than acquaintances or colleagues or partners. With all that has transpired, it's hard to pinpoint. Maggie is starting to wonder if they'll ever get past what happened. If there is too much resentment and hurt feelings for them to overcome. It scares her because Maggie knows how much she doesn't want to lose her, can't lose her. Even if she can't yet claim them as friends again, Alex is the closest thing she's got to one in this whole goddamn city. 

It's not until 10am when she's feeling the caffeine withdrawal hitting her that she pulls herself to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee that she sees that her cell has a text message from Alex

_So Mr. Hyde has officially been banished._

Maggie smiles. 

_How is Jekyll holding up?_ Maggie writes back. 

_Tequila 1, Danvers 0._

_Someone actually took down Alex Danvers?_

_I was a less than formidable opponent._

_On the bright side, at least you still have a flawless pool record,_ Maggie teases, smiling to herself before adding, _Feel better, Danvers._

Maggie tells herself its something. Not so much an apology, which Maggie doesn't need, but a truce. Today is a new day. They will put last night behind them. They will get through this. 

\---

Maggie continues to be patient, and with the help of a few glasses of hard liquor to cut the tension on the tougher nights, time passes, and Alex's carefully built wall of defenses begins to come down. 

Alex starts smiling again. They begin trading quips and betting over pool matches again. Maggie still loses too much of her city paycheck in one night, but they laugh together at the fact that she can’t sink a ball for her life. They talk shop, team up for a few cases, solve most of them. It's like they've found their way back. 

It feels good, and Maggie reminds herself this is why she put them through this. This thing they have is too good to ruin with the mess of a relationship, too great to spoil with something that would surely end terribly, too important to soil with Maggie’s “sadim touch,” in which every everything she puts her hands on turns to utter shit. 

She's especially grateful tonight. 

Maggie hasn't slept more than a couple hours at a time for the last two weeks. They were hot on the trail of a terrorist targeting aliens, and the trail just went cold two days earlier, and tonight, a new attack left a dozen dead. 

Alex tracked her down to a shady dive bar down by the docks. Alex sits down in the booth across from Maggie, dropping a pair of beers on the table. Maggie takes a long swig before setting down the bottle and shaking her head. 

"Didn't think it'd go down like this."

"We'll get the bastard," Alex assures. 

Maggie nods unconvinced. Maggie takes another drink, trying to rid her mind of the images. 

"But tonight, I'm gonna drink you under the table," Alex says with a daring smirk, pulling Maggie out of her head. 

"I'd like to see you try," Maggie retorts.

"Challenge accepted."

\---

An hour later, they are both imbibed and laughing and Maggie feels a levity she hasn't known since this case started. Alex pulls her out of the dank dive bar, tugging Maggie by the arm, and insisting they head to a gay bar, one with EDM and flashing lights. 

When they arrive, Alex leads them through a throng of men to the center of the dance floor, her hips swaying to the beat. Maggie has had just enough drinks to let herself go a little. Maggie doesn't know how long they are there. She gets lost in the music and the energy and the sound of Alex's laughter. 

Not long before closing, the pair stumble out into the night. The air is chilly, but it feels soothing against the heat of Maggie's skin. She feels good, and it's more than the alcohol. Maggie knows this is the most she has smiled in weeks. 

Maggie looks over at Alex. Her hair is tousled. Her leather jacket is slung over her shoulder, held with one finger. Maggie thinks to herself that Alex looks more like a seasoned heartbreaker than a baby gay. 

For Maggie, the heaviness of tonight's events are dampened just enough. And she owes it to Alex. She's amazed how this one person could make her days a little less dark, make everything a bit less bleak.

But it is also on nights like this that it will hit Maggie, all of a sudden, like the weight of a thousand of bricks. When Alex knows just what to say or not say, knows how to ease her mind and soften the ache in her heart, knows just what Maggie is feeling without having to ask. It hits her that Alex Danvers just fucking _gets it._ Maggie will feel her chest tighten up at the realization. 

At the end of these nights, Maggie doesn’t always know how to tear herself away, how to say goodnight, how to go home to her empty apartment and cold bed. To not get caught up with an invitation for a night cap at Alex’s place, to not have a few too many drinks and get lost in this feeling. To avoid making a few poor choices she’ll regret when the sun rises. 

These nights, after a couple too many drinks, she'll remember that kiss and dare to want more. She'll want to disappear into how good it would feel and not think about the consequences, about everything she would be burning to the ground with one misstep. She reminds herself what she would be risking, and it keeps her in control. 

Getting here though, to this, this friendship, this closeness is, of course, a double edged sword, because Maggie knows part of this change, part of this easiness between them means that Alex is moving on. 

And Maggie knows with that will come the start of a newfound dating life for Alex.

Still, even though she knew it was coming, it's sooner than Maggie expected. It comes out almost by accident. It's not even a couple of weeks later, after a long day, working a case together, that spilled into dinner. They are walking along the waterway after grabbing Pad Thai at a new place in the Gaslight district. The moon is full. It's quiet out. 

Maggie is giving Alex the low down about the night before. About how Kate, her ex, had shown up at her place unannounced, to drop off Maggie's key and ask for her belongings back. 

Maggie doesn't tell Alex details. She underplays. Doesn't talk about the shouting match. About how Kate ended up in tears. She doesn't share how it felt to see Kate pull out Maggie's key from her pocket and set it with a simple click on the kitchen counter. Or how Kate had lingered in the doorway before leaving, silent at first. How her last words were, _I miss you._

Instead Maggie acts like she doesn't care, like it was just a huge inconvenience, like it didn't hurt. Alex doesn't need to know, and Maggie doesn't even want her to. Doesn't want to tell her that she felt lonely when the door closed behind Kate. To admit that she felt a twinge of regret. That she wonders if she fucked up something decent, even good. That she sort of misses having someone around who came home with her at the end of the night and was still there in the morning. But maybe she doesn't even need to say the words. Alex seems to sense it, to just get what Maggie isn't saying.

"You'll meet someone else," Alex tells her, with a confidence that Maggie finds kind but naive. Maggie has been around the block enough to know it's not that simple.

"You know, I think I've left enough damage in my wake recently. Let's focus on you, Danvers. We need to get you on some dates."

Maggie expects a laugh or maybe even a playful retort, but Alex is silent, stoic even. Maggie looks over at her and Alex isn't even looking back, just staring straight ahead, deep in thought. It's the first time in a while that Maggie just can't read her.

Maggie realizes suddenly that even though she was referring to her ex, along with the long list of exes before that, Alex could have easily taken this to mean her. Maggie curses silently. 

"Alex, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-."

"I have one," Alex interrupts, finally turning her head to meet Maggie's gaze. "A date. Tomorrow."

"Oh!" It wasn't the response Maggie expected, not by a long shot. Here she was thinking she was still hurting Alex, but clearly, that was no longer the case. Things had changed. Alex wasn't hurt. Alex had moved on. Alex was over her.

Maggie feels a little lightheaded suddenly, like she does after she stands up too quickly after having a couple too many drinks, but she only had one glass of wine, and she isn't buzzed, and she's already standing. 

_I need to sit down,_ Maggie thinks. She keeps walking. 

"That- that's great," she musters with a touch of feigned enthusiasm. "Um, who is it?"

"Someone Kara works with. She set it up."

"Are you excited?" Maggie asks, and she tells herself that she should want Alex to be. That she should be thrilled for her, but that's not exactly what she's feeling. 

"A little nervous actually. I hate blind dates. What if she takes one look at me and runs the other way?"

Maggie looks over at Alex, at those wide brown eyes and that angled jaw and that long lean neck and those full lips, and she shakes her head. 

"Not gonna happen, Danvers."

Alex just shrugs, and the conversation goes quiet. A moment later, Alex changes the subject. And they don't talk about it, about dates or exes or other women, for the rest of the evening.

\---

The next night, Maggie sits at the counter at the alien bar, sipping on her second glass of scotch. And she thinks of Alex. 

Maggie knows Alex went out tonight, might still be out, but she doesn't know where, doesn't know with who. It's getting late, and Maggie feels fidgety despite the liquor. She wonders if Alex is home yet, how it went. 

She takes out her phone and pulls up Alex's number. 

_So how was your date, Danvers?_ She types, hesitates for a moment, wondering if it sounds casual enough, then hits send. 

She puts her phone down and lifts her hand to signal for another drink. The bartender is someone new, someone she doesn't know, and she's grateful that a moment later, when another glass of scotch is placed in front of her, there are no questions asked. She lifts it to her lips, letting the amber liquid burns its way down her throat. 

She checks her phone. No answer. Another half hour later, her question is still unanswered. She notes the time now. A quarter to midnight. 

Maggie considers the only two possibilities, that Alex has fallen asleep early, which would be a rarity, Alex hardly sleeps, or Alex is preoccupied still, her date hasn't yet ended. 

Maggie wonders about this woman taking Alex out, what her name is and what she looks like. If she's good friends with Kara, Kara who blames Maggie for Alex's broken heart, rightly so, and probably wishes Alex had continued to give her the cold shoulder. She wonders if this woman is as smart as Alex is, if she makes her laugh, if she'll kiss her right. If that's exactly what she's doing right now. 

Maggie feels her gut twist and thinks she's probably had one too many on an empty stomach. She takes another swig anyway, hoping it will dull her thoughts, but they keep returning to Alex.

She thinks again of that one kiss they shared, just steps away from where she sits right now. That kiss that was at once brave and reckless and hopeful. She thinks of how she let it last for a moment too long. It had caught her so off guard. How she had never expected such boldness. How she had never expected for it to feel that good. She tries to push the memory from her mind, but she needs more than liquor.

Maggie takes out her phone again, pulls up an old number, and sends another text. 

An hour later, Maggie is across town, naked, in between an old friend's sheets, getting fucked senseless. 

She closes her eyes, and finally, she doesn't think of Alex Danvers. 

\--

The next morning, Maggie wakes at home to a debilitating headache and a dry mouth. Her stomach is queasy. There's a text message waiting on her phone. 

_Good :) She didn't run the other way._

Maggie notes the time it was sent. 237am.

Maggie feels her stomach twist. She runs to the bathroom just in time for her to get sick at the toilet, and she curses herself for having too many drinks.


End file.
